Much has been written about boundaries, their importance and why so many of us cannot feel our boundaries effectively. Here we want to talk about the dimensions of our boundaries because we as people have more than one dimension. On the lower end of things, we are physical, understanding the boundaries of ourselves physically will help us to see we as spiritual beings have spiritually bounded areas as well. Moreover, these never get talked about, are less understood, and there is no moral injunction against their violation, even though those violations can be the most damaging to us as people!
Most of us have had or known others who have experienced physical boundary violations in some form in our lives. Those violations are easily detected by emotionally healthy people. Persons of low self-esteem, however, may have great difficulty detecting physical boundary violation. This is because of lack of moral permission they withhold to defend their physical areas. The reasoning they embrace is, ‘keeping peace is more important than defending their personal freedom to have their integrity’, which is a very unhealthy self-view.
Those who have difficulty seeing, and giving themselves permission to defend their physical boundaries in their world will have no ability to see, feel and defend their mental, emotional, and spiritual boundaries also. It is these least understood but most important boundaries where we experience the most spiritual damage of all.
We take up space which needs the protection of our right to occupy our space, and that is our physical dimension. But we also do activities. Where we do activities, we need protection of our right to perform these activities which are emotional and therefore spiritual also. We are in essence our activities just like we are a physical person. These spiritual activities which are us, need these bounds protected just as aggressively.
We must see ourselves as both physical and spiritual beings. If we do not, then we cannot feel our personal boundaries, much less feel our right to defend them. Our complete selves consist of our physical presence, our territory such as our home, car, work area, our desk at school, our bedroom, back yard. This also includes whatever other area, such as our space out in public, walking on a sidewalk, sitting at a table in a restaurant, or park bench, we are temporarily occupying.
We also have spiritual boundaries for our activities because we have a spiritual presence just as we have a physical presence. In our physical presence we can more easily see our boundaries, but in our spiritual side it can be more difficult because our spiritual side is manifested completely in mental activities. Just like our physical boundaries, and our permission to defend them, our spiritual boundaries, these activities, also need to be recognized, and we have full moral permission to defend them as well. If we are well nurtured from childhood, our parents have encouraged our seeing, feeling, thinking, and choosing in our world in an emotionally autonomous way, carried over into healthy adult mental life.
These seven spiritual activities are just as important a part of who and what we are as our physical body is. If we do not understand ourselves as physical and spiritual, then we cannot fully see our boundaries in both areas, therefore we cannot understand the importance of our boundaries in all of who we are. This is why we are doing this review. So, what is our spiritual side? What are the activities that comprise who we are, and what are the boundaries of these activities and how do we defend them from outside negative influence. These sacred seven actions make up the tools of us we use to build our life and future around us as we live out our life to the fullest. These are things we have done automatically since our first breath and will continue until our last.
They are: Seeing things through our own eyes, feeling our own feelings, thinking our own thoughts, and making our own choices. When we do these four things unrestricted from any outside negative influence, this will lead us to do the last three things. These last three things which all come from our internal heart, where our spiritual energies and uniqueness dwells, will automatically create for us and bring us into our fullest life. These other three activities and the highest manifestation of who we are consists of: Imagining our dreams, building our dreams, and lastly, rejoicing in and sharing our dreams with all Humankind.
These combined seven spiritual activities just like our physical bodies and possessions all require recognition, respect, and to be seen as part of the individual which is us. That means their boundaries must be recognized and respected. There is a specific way we each see and feel about everything we experience that makes us uniquely us. When we have others who are oppressive and controlling violating our boundaries, telling us how to see things and how to feel about things that is not really us, then spiritual damage sets in. If we are forced to see things through their eyes, and feel their feelings instead of our own, then the last five spiritual activities cannot fully happen either. We become who our oppressors mold us into being, and we at that point never become what God intended for us to become, causing our life never to unfold after that.
Our physical boundaries protect our physical realm, and our spiritual boundaries protect our spiritual realm. When we take time to focus on the feelings our inner self is feeling, we can connect with and feel both what boundaries have been violated in our life, also what we want to do and be in our life. The first thing, our feelings will come from sensing the condition of our environment in what was nurturing and what was poisoning. The second thing, sensing the violations, will come from feeling our inner desires in our life in greater detail, and what bad did happen or what good needs to happen to complete them. This will prompt us to make choices in our present life that will lead us to our destination of happiness and fulfillment in our future.
The biggest obstacle for most of us is giving ourselves the right to feel justly about who and what violated our boundaries. This is not just a simple lesson we can learn and practice in a short time. The concept can be grasped easily, but the application into the far reaches of our life may take months or even years. Do not become discouraged. Its incorporation into your life will aid you to grow far stronger and more complete than you ever imagined. A person’s or an organization’s higher status in your culture never gives them authority to violate your boundaries of your person, your activities, and your life, ever. The most important part of who you are will always be your boundaries!
Just for the record, this is an emotional and spiritual encouragement ministry. We are selling nothing here and are not at the present time even set up to take donations, and probably never will. Your healed life are our reward enough, and we are very pleased with that. If you want to, please share your strength with others in your future so our nurturing can live on.