What is narcissistic abuse? It is a fancy clinical term describing someone’s acts with a dominant characteristic of abusing others emotionally and spiritually who has no openness to change and heal. Narcissistic abuse is used to describe one’s treatment of others with whom he has deep relationships with which are highly poisoning to their victims. It is a highly reptilian posture by the narcissistic towards those under his control for whom he has no capacity for sympathy, or compassion. The trademark characteristics of narcissists are they are emotionally unreachable and their only reason for closeness with anyone is so they can manipulate their victim emotionally and spiritually, robbing them of all spiritual activities, of which there are seven. Narcissists have a top-down superiority view of other people, always seeing themselves as right.
These seven spiritual activities, which lead us to be the God created individuals that we are, are listed here: Everyone on earth will spontaneously do these things from the time they are born: See things through their own eyes, feel their own feelings, think their own thoughts, make their own choices, above that they will imagine and dream their own dreams (focus on their own talents), build on those talents, and joyfully share their talents with Humankind in celebration. Narcissistic abusers intentionally violate their victims’ boundaries in all seven areas, for the purpose of shaming and robbing their victims of all spiritual dignity. Their purpose is to violate their victim’s soul, making their victim an extension of their world, isolated and poisoned.
So much for the narcissistic abusers, our focus here is on their victims and restoring their emotional integrity so they can emancipate themselves from their parasitic, reptilian abuser. No narcissist will ever be researching on the internet, ‘recovering from narcissistic abuse’. They do not care. It is the victims and family members of victims that will research it, trying to understand their predicament and help the victim escape the poisoning situation. So, in that light we will proceed. There are two issues here. The first is why is the narcissistic abuser inflicting such life destroying pain on the victim? The second is why is the victim susceptible to having such an abuser in their life in the first place, since not everyone else is susceptible?
We answered the first question already. Why is the abuser inflicting such pain. That answer is because it is who they are, predatory poisoning life sapping reptilians. That have on capacity to change, so there is no remedy to heal the relationship in any way to fix things by changing them. Now we are getting to the fixing things part, which lies completely with the victim, and looking at what is in the victim that makes them vulnerable to be a victim. Now we are getting somewhere. Every one of us creates the world around us in a template that fits what our mind thinks the world for us should look like, both good and bad. Our friends mirror back to us exactly what we think of ourselves, in other words. So too do our relationships with others carry the same characteristics that we think our relationships with others should carry, such as needing to fix people so they will like us. There can be many other rationales that we might attach to a significant relationship. In other words, our relationships can be for unhealthy reasons such as needing acceptance when we do not accept ourselves, instead for healthy, good reasons of similarity and mutual nurturing. Somewhere within the victim is the reason the victim needs a narcissistic personality in their lives. Oftentimes for emotionally needful persons, we confuse authority with oppression and judgmental treatment. We think that if we include judgmental, oppressive personalities in our lives, we are living close to God and authority because it is right for us to do so. We equate rejection with God’s high standards, and not incorrect standards, which in this case they definitely are.
If we are looking for healing from this relationship, then the victim has outlived the usefulness of the narcissistic relationship and is seeking a way to molt into the butterfly they truly are and fly away. The reason they are here is needing to fly away and seek fellowship with other butterflies. Their time has come. All butterflies encase themselves in a cocoon, a strong isolating outer shell while they molt into a beautiful, winged creature with great sensitivity and beauty upon emerging. This time in isolation allows the creature to heal, grow and change into what it truly is and was meant to be. So, to must the victim withdraw from the relationship entirely to allow itself to reconnect with the good within, such as their dreams, talents and connect to their strong gifts of nurturing present within them.
To do that the victim, the potential butterfly, will have to free themselves from some very powerful but false, imaginary prison walls the narcissistic predator has brainwashed their victim into believing. Those lies center on, ‘They are unworthy of love and treatment comforting to their emotional needs,’ and ‘They are unable to free themselves of their oppressor and their oppressor is actually protecting and providing for them out of their pity and compassion for the helpless, unworthy victim.’ Their whole propaganda angle is, ‘Aside from me you can do nothing and be nothing.’ It is a convincing argument, but an entirely oppressor created lie! Over time the oppressor will have isolated their victim from the outside world, brainwashing them by generating mistrust in their victim of the outside world, as the oppressor also mistrusts the outside world. At the same time, they will reinforce their isolating efforts by cutting off as many outside relationships as possible logistically. These efforts may be like convincing them to quit employment, become married, or move to more isolated settings such as a small town, or become involved in a poisoning church or poisoning family or social group suitable to the oppressor.
The first steps in this cocooning process for our butterfly are to reverse these negative inputs with the much-hidden truth: The butterfly is very beautiful and will be seen and loved by all those who will come to see it. Next is to reach outside of the false imaginary isolating world of the oppressor to the awaiting world of Other People, where the new life of who you really are will be found. You are not going to find yourself in the poisoning eyes and world of your oppressor, those are only his eyes, and they are full of hatred and poison. If you look beyond your oppressor’s false, imaginary, imprisoning world, you will find a setting, a bridge, a relationship somewhere close by that will let you cross over into the world of the butterflies. Even if you are married, and the marriage is to a poisoning oppressor, there will be those within reach of you socially that will take you in, care for you, and cover you in the cocoon you need to emerge. Getting out of this poisoning marriage is warranted.
No institution, even marriage is ever more important than your happiness as a fully emerged person. In this case, Self, your Self, is preeminent to your marriage if your marriage does not serve your personhood. The three things you need to become the butterfly that you are to become; Realize the circumstances of your isolation are imaginary, created by your oppressor and yourself by cooperating. Also, that you are valuable and worthy of a life that serves you and meets your emotional and spiritual needs so that you can serve and nurture others. See the sacredness of your own self, and your emotional world. In our emotional and spiritual world, all things are sacred, and those who we allow in it. In your sacred world, it is by invitation only, and you owe no one any explanation whatsoever as to why or why not, that you allow or deny them in.
Just for the record, this is an emotional and spiritual encouragement ministry. We are selling nothing here and are not at the present time even set up to take donations, and probably never will. Your healed life are our reward enough, and we are very pleased with that. If you want to, please share your strength with others in your future so our nurturing can live on.